( Character Page )

Heads up, Hogwarts students. James Potter was looking a little green around the gills a few weeks ago and now his girlfriend is sporting a decent sized rock. Insiders tell me that Potter and Entwhistle are expecting a bundle of joy.

Seems the school's resident slut, Sarah Edgecombe, has taken her whoring to a new level. Edgecombe has been spending a lot of time visiting Professor Longbottom at his quarters and a group of my voracious readers saw her enter the greenhouse and stay there for an extended period of time the other day while Professor Longbottom was "dethorning" some plants. Is the divorcee that lonely?

This just in. This morning at breakfast a group of Gryffindor boys were whispered outside the Great Hall about 'Kicking the Queer.' Now I'm a huge friend of the gays, though the closeted ones need to come to terms with reality. It seems these boys, who shall remain unnamed for now, have a little problem with a certain guy on guy pairing in our midst. Threatened much?

So who was their unfortunate victim? Emerson Harper looked a little roughed up this morning, didn't he?

Miss me? Despite my best efforts, I can't be everywhere at once. I am here now, though, and I have the latest bits of juicy information.

First of all, the update you've all been waiting for. Why did Fionn Connolly and Felicia Birch split? A painting told me that Fionn and Felicia had a late night row. What was that row about? One can only guess, but if Fionn and Felicia were out after hours for a fight, it must have been good.

Rex Heathcote is becoming popular with the girls. Rex recently joined a band with Kathryn Entwhistle and Aurelia Ashford. It seems the trio of rocker legacies will be making music together soon. Still, isn't it odd that he's the only bloke?

Sarah Edgecombe was seen sneaking into the greenhouses the other afternoon. Professor Longbottom was seen entering before and neither left for some time. Have Edgecombe's loose morals infected the good Professor?

I'll give you the news as it comes!

~The Snitch

James Potter got a letter from home at dinner tonight and left the Great Hall looking rather sick. Was it from home? Are the Potters okay? Why doesn't Albus look shaken too?

I challenge someone to get a hold of that letter.

I'm normally a little more subtle than this, but screw it.

Reed Orbison is fucking Emerson Harper. At least that's the way I picture it. Emerson seems like he's the one who takes it.

Hexed Private from all Professors

Thought you were rid of me? Fat chance! While you've all been complaining about your homework loads, Professor Bell has been teaching Professor Longbottom how to fly. Casual observers should note that they've been spending a lot of time together.

Someone needs to do something about that. It's a real shame there's not even touching involved in their private lessons.

Wondering where Scorpius Malfoy got his fat lip? A male student reportedly punched him out after he caught the Slytherin in bed with his third year sister. I guess Scorpius doesn't heed the age of consent, or what most of us consider just plain sick.

Sarah Edgecombe should either be very jealous or she's looser than we all thought.

Good afternoon Hogwarts. Nothing too scandalous today, though word is Fionn Connolly and Felicia Birch broke up for unknown reasons. I'm just here to put a little idea into your heads.

Professor Longbottom has been a sad boy lately. He's replaced his ex-wife with a puppy, which is a sad replacement when you used to be getting some action. How is it that a war hero who isn't hideous, isn't fat, isn't smelly or mean, is alone?

We need to band together and do something about this. Lonely Professor needs a new mate. Give me something to talk about.

~The Snitch

The Gryffindors have turned promiscuity into a contest lately. Here's the latest scoop!

Reed Orbison and June Valentine were seen sneaking up to his dorm for a little play time on Saturday. A Gryffindor girl saw June march right past her own dorm and into his. Two points for Gryffindor.

Sarah Edgecombe was spotted in the dungeons doing a dirty deed to Scorpius Malfoy. Seems all her talk about wanting to shut me up was so I wouldn't catch on to her own "getting laid." Two pionts for Slytherin.

Reward, points of pride go to whoever can get me a tip about why James Potter and Kathryn Entwhistle are so happy. I'm not naive enough to think he's that good of a kisser. One point for Gryffindor. One point for Ravenclaw.

Come on Hufflepuff, get in the game.

Tips have been rolling in all over my journal. Private to me, of course. I'm going to share two juicy bits of information right now.

The sixth year Slytherins are getting busy. You heard it. Not only were Emerson Harper and Pepper Isley seen going up to his dorm and returning some time later with rumpled askew clothing, but someone else got busy just the other night.

Rumour has it that a very vocal girl was getting pleasured in that dorm and both Emerson Harper and Pepper Isley were seen elsewhere at the time of the crime.

Any tips who? I'll give you a hint, that leaves Liam Judd, Kirkland Jewel, Albus Potter, and Scorpius Malfoy. Kudos to whoever can solve this mystery!

~The Snitch

It's only a matter of time when you lock three hundred teenagers in a castle together, before hormones get the best of them. Of course, as the summer heat fades away, the students of Hogwarts need to make some heat of their own. It's been easy to spot all the sex and lies at Hogwarts these past couple of weeks, if you have a keen eye.

Let's start with the lion and his beard. Word is that a certain straight Gryffindor was seen walking around late at night with someone who wasn't his girlfriend. Any guesses?

More confirmed is the recent reuniting of James Potter and Kathryn Entwhistle. James Potter has been seen necking with Miss Entwhistle in corridors and even at her daddy's charity concert. More recently they were spotted in a very compromising position during a picnic on the lawn. I guess the prankster and the Head Girl are going to put their age old rivalry aside in the name of love... or maybe just sex.

Think that's indecent? A Gryffindor Quidditch star and a Slytherin pretty boy were seen with hands in pants behind a statue last week.

And then, most shocking of all, word is that Rose Weasley was seen in the stacks of the library with someone pushed up against a book case. Faces couldn't be made out, but it's hard to mistaken that mop of frizzy red hair.

Keep your eyes peeled and always tattle. I love tips.

~The Snitch

Welcome to the snitch. You knew it was bound to happen. What's the fun of posting in your own journal when everyone knows who said it. You won't be tracking this journal back, so don't even try. I'll just call myself The Snitch. I'm your number one source for the who's who and what's what of Hogwarts. Let's get this party started.

Feel free to leave me anonymous tips if you know something juicy. I'll never tell.

~The Snitch